The "Fruits" of My Labour

So by just talking nice to clients and getting their work done with no "corporate" fuss what do you know...I was showered with gifts. The lesson for you Za is that kindness and goodwill is a million times better than "business as normal." I have always done transactions on a friendly platform. My word (and the client's) should be good enough. So these Christians (different ones not one group) brought a HUGE bag of cherries, lots of golden apples, the biggest fish I have ever seen. Money as a tip!!! Books. And all because they said I treated them specially. Haha...it was nothing...a smile, late hours, even Sundays...come on it's how we have always worked. Work should always be a pleasure. The best piece I have ever read on how to conduct business is by the Buddhists. I will publish as a brochure for the Prophet has said “Any word of wisdom is the stray of the believer, who has the better right to it wherever it may be found.” Look at things thru the prism of Islam. Never thru the jaundiced eyes of the Westerner. The US has destroyed goodwill but marches/bulldozes with blind power over simplicity. Why do we override our own sensibilities, trusting, surrendering, our authority and responsibility-and our children-to Western institutions (and their thoughts) that are not only far removed from Divine Guidance but that clearly demonstrate inherent corruptions? The US is so corrupt. God is ever Aware. And the Muslims FOLLOW them blind and blinded. Za trust the knowledge that you're acquiring now (Islam)...it's not childish cartoons to be discarded as you mature. It's meant to polish your character and for you to shine at school and in the real world of business. Be good son...even though the circumstances right now is extremely difficult for you. I pray and cry for you that my soul is swamped (deeper and wider than the Atlantic). Love, Daddy.

Just Pay it a Passing Glance

So my dear son...here's what daddy's had to endure...and so will you...it's the way of creatures of the earth...those who do not struggle to elevate the soul
This guy who has been collecting the brochures for a while at the school stopped and engaged in conversation. After several of these he opened up and said you know in talking to you I cannot seem to understand the slander I hear of you. I smiled and couldnt care to inquire. But he continued...at the mosques people are being told to beware of me and the thoughts expressed in the brochures. I laughed. He then said that he asked several of the "scholars" what they found so "wrong." And then he said whatever they came up with you perceive their small/narrow-mindedness. And most of it out-of-context. I shrugged. The reality I said is for them to better what they condemn and lets make the society sit up and become more godly. So pay slander a passing glance, Za. And just keep doing QUALITY stuff for God. He does not accept mediocrity which most of them deal in. The brochures have created a huge impact and daily people come to collect and are making copies to distribute. One ISA teacher wants to share them on UG campus. Another guy said it is helping in combating the Jehovah Witnesses. And a Hindu friend of mine shares them out at GRA. And on and on it goes. the end result is that All praises are for God...and from Him I expect the tiniest of rewards. For I am NOTHING in His sight. Be good my baby. I decided to continue publishing these thoughts for you...use them as a platform to confront the pseudo-religion that will be sure to exist in your adult life. I got tired of the "Crap" that masquerades as "Islam." May God be your Guiding Light. Peace.

Just You...Just My Clothes

So you continue, Za, to puzzle me...even your teacher. You did extremely well at mid-term exams. With you at the centre of the storm...you the only witness to the madness it is still amazing that you have maintained sanity. May God hold you in his hands for daddy's hands have fallen, been severed. After the court, the lawyers, the system...all I have left is the clothes on my back...but they CANNOT steal my love for you. Dont think they are not trying even for that...but desperately I hold on. Hagar ran between two hills ... I feel as if I'm running between several insurmountable mountains...imprisoned... and I scream, time and again... why does God allow suffering if He is so compassionate...I might have lost my religious faith...but dear God I haven't lost YOU...yet!!!

Accidental Meeting...

Today I was exhausted from all the intricacies of human associations. Crawled into bed and before you know it...I was asleep. Ok only for an hour but it was deep. The exhaustion...A Muslim and I were discussing kids growing up in this world which is unlike the worlds of yesteryear. Then along comes this woman to purchase something from him. Saw her khimar and I said Salaam. And this led me on an unexpected journey. The discussion sprinted along at breathtaking pace. So much was covered in such a short space of time that it almost left me breathless. She said she views Islamic Documentaries...but what I found out was that one of my brochures convinced her to don the khimar. What crossed my mind was you know this woman has been reading the Quran and attending lectures and the like but the "conviction" didnt dawn upon her. But that brochure acted as the catalyst to move her to don the headwear. So the reality is that powerful "words" do exercise magic upon one's reasoning. Why then dont the religious leaders recognize this and upgrade their oratory khutbah skills. People are hungry for brilliant explanations of the Quran. Yes, the Quran is amazing...BUT the Jeffrey Langs, Karen Armstrongs, Endos...open up the linguistic mysteries with their insightful writings. And the writers dont have to be Muslim for you to see the Quranic light. She was all praise for my work and thanking me...no maam, I'm nothing...if you only knew...Of the dark night that is my soul. Sometimes, your life is destroyed because you are honest; you try in vain to find the meaning of life. How difficult it often is to live a life so passionately. May Allah bless you Za, in your search...for its only in searching that you truly arrive...at the gates of Jannah. Don't ever give up Za...I speak to you, as much as I desperately plead to my own soul. Love you baby.

Suicide

Have been thinking about suicide for a long time. Heard the president of the country on several platforms making mention of it as something that is plaguing us. So I started many months ago putting together thoughts on why. Emotions can run riot, I tell you. I have been arguing with my spirit and with God's Law. Then run, jump and bang as a nation we were catapulted to confront this ugly reality. And trust me the "whys" are never answered. Just pure heartache. Yep I have contemplated self-destruction when life got really "hard" and it seems that your circle of acquaintances just cant seem to provide answers... this week when I read of the German footballer walking into the path of an express train...O my God!!! I also saw several trains hurtling pass but didnt make the fatal leap. And I'm here to tell you why. Yes WHY. The answer is RELIGION...and the religion is Islam. So even though I slipped and slid and I fell...it wasnt onto tracks or rocks...but into the safety net of God's Love. So all these years later was it worth it to live? And the unequivocal answer is YES. Why? Has life gotten easier, better, more comforting, wealthier. Haha. NOOOO. For between two sorrows is a small interval of pleasure and this seesaw in life continues endlessly.
So here is the brochure. Please save someone by kind words.
http://www.zamals.com/index_htm_files/Suicide.pdf
May God help us all to not lose faith for suffering, yes SUFFERING, carries us to a loftier height of realization, shattering the myth that life is merely mundane.

Essequibo comes a-callin...

...8 years later. What mysteries life holds. The phone rings and the person is saying we met "some time ago." What about? O you did a presentation here in Anna Regina. I was stunned. Hey bro, that was like 8 years ago. Anyhow he wanted several dvds for a fair they were having there. Wanted to showcase Islam to persons of other faiths. So they collected 10 and and had their show. God alone knows the level of success achieved. But wait there's more...the person who called came himself and bought 24 more...well what do you know!!! Life sure is strange. I reminded him how they did not allow my two sisters entry to the mosque where we had the program. Was I angry? Most likely...can't remember my emotions that far back. But knowing my "spirit" I would have sure expressed my displeasure at such "ridiculous" pseudo-religion. Anyway it was sure nice that after such a long time they have begun to see some light. But am beginning to think they are way too late. A kind of slow religious suicide. Thousands of souls have been denied all these years of viewing high-quality Islamic programs...the point is: having travelled all the way to Regina and explained to them, and shown them and having shook their heads in affirmation on the need for such quality presentations...then having thrown such spiritual energy behind their backs have surely impacted negatively on the growth of Islam in that neck of the woods. And I do not accept but it's good that they have started. My God!!! Can't we grasp opportunities when they present themselves...pronto! 8 years...holy macarolli.

An Exchange

I just charged them for work done...a standard business transaction. And then their amazement with the way they were helped and all the explanations as to why their computer and software were (mis)behaving...they came with an envelope and put it into my hands. I glanced inside and said please this is not necessary....I have charged you already. But they insisted I take the envelope with the money. I pleaded that a "thank you" was just good enough. Za, the ability to go beyond the "job" at hand...the late nights, early hours of the morning, in helping people is what "true" religion is. With smiles. The ultimate rewards are with Allah. Shall I tell you that which is the best, better than the pillars of the faith, the Prophet (p) asked? Treat people well...make peace, don't be harsh in dealing with them. Do business with truth, trust and integrity. Avoid at ALL times harshness and encompass GOODWILL. Doing business with goodwill (no matter the amount of money involved) is the best form of worship. May Allah help you to set the highest standards...God's.

The Most Important Thing in LIfe is....

...in a moment I will tell you Za. What a spectacular full moon graces the velvety black night sky. Stunning. Made me catch my breath as I stepped outside.
So the answer is death. On Nov. 3rd she awoke, full of life, at age 48, and making her way to work. And I at 4:30 a.m. opened my eyes to another day in this world...it was 8:30 a.m. in her part of the world as she closed her eyes forever to this world. In a brutal car accident. My God!!! So who was she and why did it stun me. When I arrived in England she and her family (mother, grandmother, 2 brothers and a sister) cared for me. CARED. Lots of dinners, lunches and great chat. I enjoyed their company and their support as this was my first time away from my home and they made me feel welcomed. So today she lies in her grave in a face-to-face meeting with God and His angels. For we came from Him and to Him is our return. But God, allow me to say in disbelief My God!!! I'm just a piece of flesh, NOTHING God. So do not take me to task for my moaning. May YOU grant the family EASE in their time of distress.
"Munaza Hanif, 48, was on her way to work in Bolton when the accident happened in the Abbey Village and Belmont area at 8.30am yesterday. Police said she was driving along the A675 Bolton Road when she lost control and swerved into oncoming traffic, crashing into a white Mini Cooper which was heading towards Blackburn. Munaza was pronounced dead at the scene. Her funeral will take place this afternoon. Munaza's brother, Atiq Hanif, 47, said: "Munaza was a loving daughter and Aunt, an affectionate sister and was dear to all who knew her."
Atiq, Farah, Rehan...May Allah grant you ease at this immensely difficult time. She was indeed a beautiful person. I'm remembering her as the 18-year-old I knew (ready smile and giggly laughter). Yep, for three years always NICE to me (as you all were)...can't remember a harsh word from her (God I hope you're listening). Ashmeen always mentions when she would receive an email from Munaza.
Our knowledge, our comfort, is that she is now in a place much more beautiful than here. Munaza, may your lovely soul find rest in the arms of Allah.
Ina lilah wa ina ilayhi raji'oon....may Allah swt grant you janatul firdaus,and make your time in the world of barzakh easy.ameen..please pray surah Fateha once and 3 times surah ikhlaas...Thank you...
My dear son, learn the lesson...life is fragile so handle with care.

Problems & Solutions

Za, I know how immensely difficult it has been for you. Divorce wrecks...but unhappy marriages does the exact same....or worse. But you have stood up thru the confusion amazingly good. Whilst daddy is slipping, sliding falling...losing control and not being able to pass on good words, good thoughts. Where is that quote from the Prophet (p) that the BEST thing a father can give to his child is good character? See Za, sometimes our book-learning is like straw and cannot stand up to the storms of life. But thru the darkness I still want to pass on some quality ideas for you will also face trials in life (God made it so). See Za, many of us allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by the small (or big) worries and vexations of everyday life, clothing them with a reality quite disproportionate to their importance. We are too apt to look at them, as it were, through a powerful microscope, piling power upon power of magnification, until we have made mountains out of mole-hills. However if we had treated them at their true value then we should have looked at them through a telescope, in the reverse direction, when they would appear not only trivial, but would be seen to be too remote to have any material effect on our lives. So Za, time heals. Papa will be back to his humorous self as God clearly states that He CARES for all during times of crisis. So baby lets place our trust where it truly belongs...GOD. May He guide you to utilize the time given you in this world in a beautiful way. For sure you have brought immense joy to my soul. Thank you.

The Last Weekend

A mixture of emotions...the pendulum swinging from one extreme to another as if in a hurricane. BUT, Za, as both of us rode to the seawall on Saturday and Sunday and spent time on the beach Daddy felt (no fancy words)...just felt good. It was so beautiful. The beach looked so clean and the waves gently lapping a small distance away. So you could play with the sand and pick up shells for Daddy's birthday. Haha...it was simply beautiful to watch you and for me to store such memories. The wind was a joy...bringing the therapeutic sounds of the ocean to my ears and lovely to breathe into my lungs. And I felt at peace. God, nature is so kind to our minds. And the sunset on both evenings were spectacular painting the clouds in divine colours...it was as if two beautiful angels were getting married and the clouds draped in all their fineries were in attendance. Za, it sure was the most pleasant time we spent together. Thank you and may God guide your every step, for every step you took on the sand left footprints on my soul.

At the End

My dear son, what can daddy tell, reflect on, pass on...as my 48th year comes to a close. At least tonight with the earth pressing in...I can let my gaze, tired, broken...leap up to the darkened night...its star-filled and in that is great pleasure even to a saddened soul. And to the first-quarter moon beckoning to me...a sight that grant an immense degree of solace. I would love to tell you of the "terrible" events that unfolded today...but cannot leave you to read that years from now. On the contrary I would just pen some lines that show how my heart-strings are tuned to vibrate even as my soul stares at the grim realities of life. One of the vibrations was suicide...daddy didnt want to carry on. Didnt want to see out this year. Tonight is so dark Za baby. Not the outer world Za...that's beautiful. The inner world...dark and brooding. I'm struggling to let my heart be buoyed up by an inextinguishable faith in the ultimate triumph of sanity. Without such faith, all effort is like the fluttering of a caged bird who sees its doom and knows it cannot avoid it. Yes Za, I'm fighting against the "caged bird" feeling which is threatening to take me down. Pessimism implies lack of faith and consequently a loss of energy. Wherever pessimism creeps in insidiously there can be no steady and persistent effort on behalf of any causes worthy of our best aspirations. So Za, I'm passing this message on to you...be an optimist...not in a facile way...for genuine optimism does not shortsightedly ignore the hard and ugly facts of life. It does not seek consolation in any form of escape. It's wrong to walk away...to become a recluse...no matter what keep on doing "things"...for thru work God heals. I have continued to look after you Za...papa is proud of your achievements at school...the teacher is amazed that you are doing so well even with such a HUGE problem that have settled like a dark cloud over your lovely head. Grade 3...and you are getting hundred percent in several subjects. I cry so much for you (my god tears are falling now Za). You know, baby, I read a bit about Moses which I will convert to a brochure...gosh it's stunning the problems he had. haha quite a few brochures have just "happened" as circumstances occurred. Lordy, isn't that so weird? But societal changes take place first and foremost when new ideas are hurled against old standards, shattering them and then rebuilding pillars of divine justice. So tomorrow might dawn with me on 49...what lies in store must be met with a faith in the ultimate goodness of human nature and the consequent belief that life is worth living and striving for. My baby, you're my best inspiration...loving you Daddy.

Expect better

Perhaps I was being naïve, but then, honourable men have the right to expect better from the world. What a depressing year it has been...but the battle continues to be fought. There have been bright periods but overall I do feel as if I'm being squeezed. Make a prayer for daddy, my son.
Hold your head high, my son. To get a feel for the world read "Strive to be Happy." Read wide and then you will be able to put your own life in perspective. And then it will boil down to dependence (in a positive and strong way) on God. You will be bombarded with all kinds of fake ideologies...the only way to "beware" is to be wary with the shield of knowledge. For example try to understand this piece of "wisdom" from a so-called scientist: Conway Morris opens his book with a disclaimer: “If you happen to be a ‘creation scientist’ (or something of that kind)and have read this far, may I politely suggest that you put this book back on the shelf. It will do you no good. Evolution is true, it happens, it is the way the world is, and we too are one of its products..." He states in a definitive manner Evolution is "true" (and by force of his words we the people must accept it... However Evolution is FALSE...then note the derogatory phrase (or something of that kind)...so my son, you will have to use your mind/intellect/reasoning to overcome and do battle against such devious "logical" twists. Daddy is extremely pleased at your progress so far...you do amaze me...you do make me smile...and yes you're my only joy at this point of time. Thank you my "little man." My favourite call name for you. May God continue to grant you strength in all forms. I love you.

Another Financial Thriller

Once again tonight's program will focus on the gambling of banks. Yes, GAMBLING. That's all they do. We put our money there and believe that's its safe and they are such nice people, in their suits and their air-conditioned offices and yes, banks do outclass houses of worship as the financial angels (females) float around with their fake smiles. So Crash, How the Banks Went Bust will continue the series of programs exposing the evils of Wall Street and the London Financial system. Note how all these high-flyers keep saying "We didn't see it coming." Just like we are not seeing the impending Day of Judgement looming. So we blindly follow the blind.
Oh, it's 6:15 a.m. and a stunning rainbow arched across the western sky(ain't all rainbows stunning). Caught my eye as I went to the kitchen and I stood and gazed and lost myself counting the colours. ROYGBIV, haha (red and orange melts into one as the indigo and violet). So I counted five smile. I saw myself astride those gorgeous colours forgetting this world and wondering DEEPLY of the next. The early morning rain was the sweetest music to my ears.
Daddy loves you Za...missing you so much...like would have loved to show you the rainbow and to giggle with you as we make up stories of playing with it. But by God's grace we will play with "real rainbows" in Jannah giggling like little boys, haha.

Impact of Words (Written and Spoken)

As I was at my son's school distributing the brochure "Business Ethics" a guy came and sat next to me. "Hey you write this stuff?" It has become the familiar ice-breaker. "Well I just put it together." "Seriously, this is real good stuff. You don't get such material to peruse for free anywhere." I smiled...and we chatted for 3/4 hour. What knocked me out was one of his comments: "You know to write this intensely you must have been thru the school of hard knocks." I caught my breath...hopefully he didn't notice. But I shrugged and laughed (hope it didnt sound too hollow) and brushed it off with a funny comment. Our conversation was exciting as we covered several issues and its always invigorating to clash and test your mind against someone who is sharp.
It always feels like you have just received an intellectual glucose shot when someone pays a compliment to the work. It's being done to further the cause of God...as well as to leave my footprint for my son. Dont want him to be religiously deadened with trash & drivel that masquerades as "worship."
Tonight's program on Ch. 2 was "In Debt We Trust" as I continue to drive home the point of money (as in being greedy for it & willing to do anything for it) being the root of all evil.
So what did you "Say" today? Positive life-changing words I hope; don't chill the heart of anyone with icy statements...the world will be the poorer for it. Let's try to leave an impact that makes people sit up and yearn to be better. Like the fellow I met today.

Ghosts

Chinese saying: Human beings are much more fearsome than ghosts!

Now why would I want to believe that! haha...because it's so true. No matter how deeply you stare into someone's eyes there's no way you can know what lurks in their minds. What I have found out about LOTS of people is more fearsome than I wanted to believe.

School's Open

Distributed School's Open brochure today. Read a disturbing piece on Kenya's beaches and their children...my goodness how DIRTY are those white men (and let's not forget their ultra-dirty white women). Well you would have guessed what the article is about from those words. Oh yes it had me fuming and fretting as these "civilized" bastards use children for their sick games on their sick vacations. And let's not forget those f***ing American monsters and their degradation of Iraqi womanhood. So I am exhausted...off to make supplication to God to right the wrongs of this world (the least I can do) and then publicize the "white people" ills through my brochures and dvds. Obviously the "Muslims" who adore the sick and demented West would NOT agree. If their daughters were subjected to such sexual debauchery they would still genuflect to the "White" god. Sick!!!

A week...

...that has left me weak. Where will all this end...is there really an end? My little man, I have never had times like these in the first forty years of life. Good mixed with so much bad. Tests? I cant remember signing up to write such. Life surely is the toughest university. But my thoughts are for you. Which brings me to the brochures. Gosh it has made a huge impact...and I didnt use the word "impact" lightly. There have been several reasons for beginning and continuing this brochure idea. But the reason now is that you, my son, will one day look back and wonder about your daddy. What did he think...so here they are. My deepest thoughts about religion and living. And when you peruse these I would like for you to redevelop the ideas....for your times. Youre one intelligent child. Didnt say "smart." They are many who are smart and fool themselves they are intelligent. Outsmarting people always lead to disasters. Brochures: Got a call from TT, emails from Canada and even an invitation to meet with a Muslim person living in Canada after he heard me speaking about "religion." Said he was excited hearing such "amazing" stuff. Haha...made me laugh. So we will meet tomorrow...to know me is to know nothingness as he will find out...let's see where the conversation leads. A guy walked into the office and asked for the brochures. On my inquiry as to where he was from he said Fyrish on the Corentyne...said he got brochures at a reading he attended. Oh my...seems it was printed from the website. And a Jehovah Witness woman was so awed by dialogue so intense she was swayed to break with her protocol of just "giving" the Awake mag. She also "received" the brochures. My son, do the best you can. Work is worship. Stay far away from "controlled" religion. Its hogwash. God is Most Creative and loves to see the mind at work. The world is held up by Four pillars: The Wisdom of the Learned; The Justice of the Great; The Prayers of the Righteous; And the Valour of the Brave. (Inscription at the entrance of the University of Granada in Muslim Spain) Strive to be all four my son. Love you, daddy.

Thank You My Baby

What can daddy say but "thanks" for visiting him in the hospital on Thursday night (seeing daddy screaming in pain); and Friday morning (seeing daddy much better). Saturday and Eid on Sunday were just REST days. I couldnt do much. But I am glad I could purchase the computer word game for you. If I could only tell you the truth Za; but I am so mixed up emotionally, psychologically and I just wanna pour my heart out to you but I know you cannot bear it now. And sometimes it just overflows and as it pours out it's as if a second invisible daddy is standing there shaking his head and saying "c'mon first daddy what are you doing...be quiet." Sighhh. Feel sorry for me baby. God knows the storms inside. And He is As-Salaam Za. It's all that I have right now to hold on to...and maybe, just maybe, if given the chance to look back...I might say He was all I need. But what tears me up is you Za...you need better than this situation...you need someone better than me. I feel such a failure to you...but baby God knows. One day listen to that song by Yusuf Islam, "Misunderstood." It's what I identify with at this point. Love you sugarplum. Make a prayer for Daddy. Love & Kisses.

The 24th Night

Well Sunday was certainly different. Quite a bit of refreshing rain. Spent the day indoors. As well as the night. Didnt venture to the mosque. Just wasnt in the mood. Lots of zikr, introspection, reflection. And reading. Also finished The Struggle brochure. Updated Business Ethics. The Quran...my goodness what awesome deep philosophies it contains. It challenges your thought processes...to check out what kind of person you are. Just check this out: "And there is a type of person who serves Allah standing on the borders of faith. If some good comes to them, they are satisfied. If they, however, encounter a trial, they turn away from faith. Thus they lose both this world and the Hereafter. This is manifest loss." That stopped me in my tracks as I wondered about me. Then I realized I wasnt breathing normally; took a deep inhalation. Stopped. Reading on wont help. Wont release any more developmental energy. This was enough food for thought.
Other happenings: Ch. 2 (a Christian station) asked for the Quran so that they could show it every morning (for free). 6:00-6:15. And GIT also got the same to show on Ch. 65. And lots of free tips on how to create good-looking stuff. Well it took them many years to see the light but All Praises are for Allah. If Muslims don't arise and warn NOW in the best way, with the world in such chaos...then when may I kindly ask?
Also: Za blew me away when he created in Coreldraw 14 a beautiful, yep really it was, Ramadan card for his teacher. He googled by himself and found excellent pics. and put it creatively together . And his teacher broke out in a spontaneous smile. I was there and it warmed my heart. Little things do mean so much.
Love you baby...do the best you can (I know its HARD...but lets put our trust in Allah). Daddy (a tearful heart weeps every night for you)

The 20th Day

So the moon in the morning sky, whose (obvious) colour was white (pretty but not magically so as the evening golden moon); and clouds some heavy, some like cotton wool were in the morning sky as I headed to the Park...hot it was. For two laps, running, jogging then walking (maybe a bit of crawling too). And during the fasting too...as the body obviously experiences a depletion of energy but I, always, since a teenager, have felt that fasting never meant a reduction of activities. Then it was all day cricket or school or darts and weight-training. And it continues to this day (no cricket or weight training but at least I can run/walk). Also lots of reading of books, the #1 priority is the Quran with lots of other books thrown in for good measure. And for me Ramadan means the 5 hours of sleep I get is, well SLEEP. Deep like in totally unconscious--something I dont seem to enjoy out of Ramadan. Back at the office one Christian client chatted with us about the Fast. And the normal shocked surprise at like "not even a sip of water." All day!!! Oh my. "If they only knew" a phrase related to fasting is all I can think about...if they only knew. For when we do take that sip of water at sunset it's the "greatest moment." Not just in quenching the thirst but in the deepest appreciation and gratefulness to God...to go out there and help the poor/needy. Never to be arrogant and belittle others because of their financial status or otherwise. For the person stands erect who bends over the afflicted/poor/fallen. We rise when we lift others. I weep (yeah literally) over my failings/my fallen status/my broken wings. Love you my baby...may you understand your daddy from these few thoughts.

The 18th Night

Well it had to end...good things cannot continue forever or they lose their sheen, their sparkle. Those lovely cloudless nights with the moon and star stunningly placed there by the Hands of God. Your eyes mesmerized by their beauty. And truly the street lights, the lights in the houses were as nothing in comparison. So tonight the clouds were back...the bright star dimly showing...and as I rode from the "mosque" my eyes scanned the eastern skies for the moon...and then I spotted it...low and covered with clouds...and one just have to glorify the artistry of God. "There are many Signs in the heavens and the earth; yet they pass them by and pay no heed to them." Wow! What an ayah!!! Then I settled in front of my monitor to digest a video of a doctor who converted to Islam. Lifted my deflated "religious spirits." Conversion stories are sometimes used as goody-feely kinda thing. But this story had some interesting parts and the fact that the doctor had written a few books meant he was "deep" and articulate enough to drive home points. Then I read one story of an ex-Muslim who reconverted back to Muslim. This was also powerful as the depth of his research in Christianity was sound. Two extremely heavy duty pieces for a "fragile" Muslim to rethink his position. Za, my baby, you do know what daddy means by "fragile." You to whom I have revealed so much at your tender age. I know there are questions, big questions, swirling in your mind...but as time permits I will set the answers down so that you can appreciate how life unfolded. Have no regrets my son...just place your full TRUST in God. It's all I ask. Love, kisses and the biggest hug for you.

The 12th Night

This has just got to be the most amazing sequence of nights. The skies are cloudless; stars are twinkling ever so brightly; and THAT moon sails across the black velvety sky so majestically. Yes, Za, we sure are having a great time out there. Beautiful breeze brings glad tidings of Allah's forgiveness. And the morning sky too was simply dazzling...lots of fluffy white clouds (like hundreds of thousands of sheep silently "grazing on the pastures of the sky.")...its so quiet on the streets of Georgetown that it makes for lovely moongazing...where are the people (gazing at their tv screens or their monitors or their cells)...well I guess I have it all for myself...wish I didnt have to go indoors and lose the magic of it all...but that's the nature of time...good things do come to a kind of "end"...but the memories do live on...and these few words are written for the "memory" to be in Kodak colour years from now...yes Za...I love you...be good. And as you grow, InshaAllah...and become a man know that Allah's forgiveness is not just for erasing "sins" accumulated (what a silly concept)...but it's to POLISH our souls to make it sparkle ever brighter. Astagfirullah...the soul brightens...and reaches deep into the heavens to caress the Throne of God. Then the Fingers of the Most Compassionate, the Fingers of the Most Merciful, softly, gently lifts the soul...then all the angels fall in prostration to this child of Adam....Love you baby, Daddy.

The 6th Night

Wow and then again Wow. The night sky is just awesome since that special crescent moon was seen in the western sky. And what an unbelievable beauty it was. Since that night to this the skies are so clear and the moon looks so, let's just use "sweet." Cause words are just so hard to come by to describe such sweetness. And to know, as I ride from the mosque with Za, and both of us enjoying the beauty, that there's something deeper, much sweeter, streaming down from the heavens. The Mercy of God. Lord, how blessed one feels to be under God's heavenly canopy and His Mercy (extra-special in these Ramadan nights) is falling on us like sweet, delicious rain. Thank You Lord....my gratitude knows no bounds. Thank You.

The Quran: Say words that are the BEST

My dear son...this is for you (as this whole blog is dedicated to you so that you can "know" your dad is some small way). This piece is about receiving an email from a client...appreciating the way I conduct business. And this I must say: stay true to those words from God: "Say words that are the BEST." (17:53) Do not be arrogant or irrational and never let your words sound hollow. Be true to your heart ALWAYS. Even when you're insulted...the Prophets were and their dependence on God saw them through. And it was tough for them as it is for us. So here's that email:
Hello Shamal,
Greetings and thank you for your quick response.
It was sure great meeting you and your brother.
The 14 August,09 has been etched into my memory.
You are a gentleman and a very objective character. Do pass on those values to your kids. You should try teaching ...you'll do well. I knew your Dad ...truly he was a wonderful man. A darling to talk with.
He was the first to display fabrics for sale based on their color, textures and design in Guyana. You can never guess what goes with what when you turn up at his stand. He made me laugh a lot...a big smile and heart.
You are from good stock...guess I am not the first to say this to you.
I like you a lot and felt comfortable talking with you and your brother.
Well....you sure impressed me... Will I do business with you Yes ! Yes !! Yes !!!
Do let me know if the new stock is in.
I am mostly available on week ends.
Stay good,
Ms. Lee

My dear son, these comments can be repeated thousands of times...just this week the Russian diplomats were so impressed by my dealings (business ease) that they said on leaving Guyana they will let the new diplomats do business with us.

Now this is being put here not as a boast...just for letting you know (all children would love to see a diary from their parents). Just think about how those sweet words about your grandfather made me feel. Read over and over again, my son, the words of Prophet Yaqub to his sons. Strive for the BEST in everything...especially your words.

Three "Christians"

Sitting taking in the sunset and just enjoying the tranquility of the evening and in my out-of-body experience contemplating God's magnificence everywhere. Snapped out of my reverie by a pamphlet waving Christian...so took it and very quietly asked him if he believed in God. Oh, of course he said. Haha I love the way this question always elicit this "positive" spiritual outburst. And as I "denied" God he, I guess, wanted to show me the light. So our light religious tit-for tat led to me inviting him into the office and showing him my literature. He accepted some of them, as I then switched gears and spoke about God. He even wanted some of my unfinished brochures. No, I said. Let me finish them. The seed does not spring up in a moment into the towering tree; and neither does religion, which compared to a seed, produce at once its richest fruits. We shook hands and parted with smiles.
A lady Jehovah Witness. They are so similar...in their smiling "harshness." I accepted from their outstretched hands their magazines. But always with the same robotic sameness they refuse to accept anything back. I asked her seeing that she represented Jesus, if he was standing where she was, would he refuse arrogantly my offering. She said I have truth and nothing else matters. I told her that her "Certainty" of truth is the reason for all the religious wars that has left the heavens tear-stained.
And finally within 24 hours another "Christian." He came for the Quran. Said he believed in God but not in the dogmas of the Church. Said he was reading about the struggle between God and Satan in the Quran at a friend's house (the friend is Christian) and they sent him to me to get his own copy. Obviously we shared ideas and this was the most stimulating of the three. And yep he took the brochures that I picked for him. All 3 conversations had value but this one was more shall we say "conversational." The other two was like a spiritual tennis match with ideas being paddled back and forth.
And not so long ago I entertained 3 pastors at different times in the office. The conversations were bubbling with hope.
Then they detect my crisis of faith and wonder why...the truth is "believers" and their insults have left me drained and if I were not impressed by the Quranic language of the boldest metaphors that I have encountered I would have left the "faith of the insulters." So my crisis of faith is due to volcanic minds/tongues heaping derogatory terms upon me and not due to the ideology of the faith, its Book, its Author and its Messenger.
May they be accepted into God's favour; and me well His judgment of what I have done will be the fairest of all. To that I submit.

That Feeling!!!

We all get excited over something…a dinner with someone special, vacation, the opening of school (hahaha some of us do), and the list is endless. Then we go to the mosque and we hear that oft-repeated phrase that the Prophet (p) says that a glorious month is about to descend…and you look around at the audience and you don’t detect that “excitement.” Anyway who am I to judge their expressions…but yeah its like 8 days to go and I have got that “feeling”…nothing else has matched it for years…since I was young…it’s Ramadan and the Fasting just brings with it so much INTENSITY…like in really STRIVING for something meaningful…the rest of the months (no matter what we engage in) just can’t seem to match. So gain as much as you can in this month so that it REFLECTS in the other eleven. Like in being nice to people (most important of whom are your parents).

So checkout these brochures The Heartbeat & Ramadan: Golden Hours on the Wings of an Angel at www.zamals.com (click on brochures). Please print and distribute.

Her Glow!!!

I was drawn to her. What beauty! Her face like a full moon. My God!!! Oh...it was the full moon. The sky tonight was clear, one such that you are magnetically pulled into its velvety darkness. I stopped with Za to let him see the moonbeams reflecting in the canal. He smiled...and I did too...for two reasons. I was enjoying the splendour and I was introducing Za to the magic of nature. He will, as God wills, see many more of these and he must learn to appreciate its beauty. To know what it does to the soul as the eyes, which are the gateway to the inner world, gazes upon the outer world bathed in such celestial glory. I dropped him home whispering over and over again how beautiful the golden orb was. And as I rode eastwards my eyes were trapped...amazing I kept muttering...how stunningly amazing. Why were all the people I passed engrossed in their crude lives faces creased with worry staring earthwards when the heavens beckoned with pure joy. Why were the people engaged in cursing, drinking, grotesque laughter...when the silent skies were putting on a show unmatched in any theater. Oh I have my worries too...hanging like a heavy chain around my neck...pulling my head earthwards...but I broke free tonight dazzled by God's spectacle. As I turned into the quiet streets of Queenstown and the moon seemed to dance thru the trees I could only moan and groan with pleasure at such a sight. And then eastwards again into her golden charms...I stopped at the head of Vlissengen road to drink in her splendour...where my eyes ranged freely through the still, pure air and fondly traced out the restful contours of the moon apparently built for eternity...and all around me people sped on in their cars, buses, jeeps oblivious to the magic of tonight. I fell in love...again...for even though I have seen her unveiled like this hundreds of times I have never tire of gazing unabashedly at her naked beauty. Arriving home I stepped into the artificial lights and it seemed as if I moved from a lighted night sky decorated with a golden moon and studded with twinkling stars... and stepped into darkness.

One Call

After Thursday's night Islamic Documentaries (Hijab: An Act of Faith) the phone rang. The caller wanted to know how often this program is shown and when. So I told her we're into the 4th year and it's on every Thursday from 7-8 p.m. Asked her what caused her to call and she said the guy (Baba Ali) with his marriage advice. Yeah he's seriously "funny." Anyhow I asked her of what religious persuasion was she and it was Hinduism. And your age? 19. And extremely well spoken too. She said "Hey, I will watch next week...and will get my mom to sit with me too." haha. So we chatted a while about the history of the program and its effect on persons of all faiths. Yep. All faiths have shown their appreciation...just think about it...an Islamic program that manages to open friendly dialogue with persons of other religions. These out-of-the-blues calls (hundreds over the years) have been the stimulant that keeps this program going. Hey thanks a lot to this caller and the hundreds over the time-span of ID. May God bless you all...and can I add "me" in there too!!! hahaha

Memory of a Birth

by Ian McDonald Modern man has miraculous powers. He flies to the moon and soars beyond the sun. He creates wonder after wonder. His inventive capacity seems limitless. Yet if tomorrow any man designed and built a computer infinitely more powerful and complex than any that now exists he would instantly be awarded a Nobel Prize for Science.
Or if any man constructed a pump that could run without stopping, beating 80 times a minute, without a hitch, for 80 years and more he would be honoured as the greatest engineer, the greatest inventor, the world has seen.

Yet any time a child is born – in shining home or meanest slum – just such marvels are created. Indeed, infinitely more than that. For it is not only the brain and heart of a new-born child that are miraculous and well beyond the wit of man’s invention. Every intricate part that makes up the child is incomparably beautiful, crafted to a stunning perfection. And beyond the miracle of the parts is the much greater miracle of the whole that is greater than the parts – what some call mind and others personality and others soul or spirit.

To be involved with a birth is to be involved with a thousand miracles. Whatever one achieves in life pales into insignificance beside the creation of a child. Mothers know this best, it is their unshakable secret. But a man can feel it too when a child of his is born and suddenly, for a blinding moment, he claims an insight into one of the very few achievements that really matter in life.
He is also bound to feel a small but triumphant satisfaction that here is proof that he has found a way to outlive his own mortality. Thomas Hardy put it exactly in his poem ‘Heredity’:

I am the family face;
Flesh perishes, I live on,
Projecting trait and trace,
Through time to time anon,
And leaping from place to place
Over oblivion.
The years – heired feature that can
In curve and voice and eye
Despise the human span
Of durance – that is I;
The eternal thing in man
That heeds no call to die.

The other day I was looking through old diaries and came across an account of the birth of my youngest son, now 20, and it brought back such vivid memories. Near Christmas he was born in the midst of blackouts, floods, shortages, and a steadily increasing breakdown in public services throughout the country. Yet he was fortunate. The care he and his mother received at the Mercy Hospital, ancient then and broken down but a home of compassion and standards, more than compensated for the floodwater and the darkened windows and the city brought almost to a standstill. The nurses there had diplomas not only in nursing care but in the vital arts of understanding pain and anxiety. The warm concern and careful professionalism cultivated throughout that institution could give lessons in what hospital care is truly all about to more than one gleaming palace of the latest medical equipment that I have had the misfortune to know in rich countries.

When children are born, parents harbour great ambitions, we hope they will achieve success and happiness. But there is more than that we should desire.

Much that I wanted to say to him, as I looked at him in wonder in the first few weeks of life, was contained in a poem which the great cellist Pablo Casals jotted down long ago for the children he loved beyond even his great art:

When will we teach our children what they are?
One should say to each of them:
Do you know what you are? You are a marvel!
You are unique! In all the world there is no
other child exactly like you! In the millions
of years that have passed, there has never been
another child like you!

And look at your body, what a wonder it is!
Your legs, your arms, your curving fingers, the
way you move! You may become a Shakespeare, a
Michelangelo, a Beethoven, You have the capacity
for anything.

Yes, you are a marvel, and when you grow up,
can you harm another who is, like you, a marvel?
No, hurt no one, bring only the joy you can!

“No, hurt no one, bring only the joy you can!” I wrote that in my diary for him, still the best refrain I know.

Our Mouths...Our Speech...Silence

"It is better to sit alone than in company with the bad;
and it is better still to sit with the good than alone.
It is better to speak to a seeker of knowledge than to remain silent;
but silence is better than idle words" - Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him)
Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.
One of the biggest drains on our energy and emotion, and one of the greatest hindrances to peace, is our inability to be silent. For every situation in which we decide to hold our tongue or mind our own business, there are others where we let our heads be turned and join the chatter. We are constantly robbing ourselves of peace, because we choose to meddle in the affairs of others. We talk. We gossip. We twitter.
Those social networks have us in their vise-like grip.
And just consider: this mouth of ours would be clamped SHUT on the Day of Judgment.
Think deeply about that...

You and Me

You and me
Two hearts that melt and flow into infinity
We leave the world we know to voyage breathlessly
Our bed, the sea
And in its waves, just you and me

You and me
Free of wrong and right of old taboos and lies
And in our endless night
Come dreams and whispered sighs
Caressingly, to you and me

Through deserted hopes that we must hold anew
Love has filled our emptiness and waiting
The unprotected children that we were before
Turned into you and me
Reborn in love once more

Carry me beyond all doubt and fears
Of passion's fantasy
To God created spirits, desire's destiny
Made heavenly for you and me

When I had no faith, you taught me how to care
Giving me a second chance of living
Most words are only words
But your's become my prayer
My body and my soul, you echo everywhere

Pleasure me, until the early morning light
Make love to me
I hear your every turn
So all my days can be
Drowned in the sea, you and me

Face the Test

A life not put to the test; a life without obstacles to overcome, is hardly worth living. Growth is only possible in adversity; through battles fought and won. The enemy has to be confronted and overcome. If we get driven to our knees by the enemy (and by enemy is here meant the lower
passions - the lower mind), we have lost the battle through lack of will power and Faith. This is cowardice which, out of spiritual laziness, chooses undisturbed tranquility. When heaven is about to impose an important office upon a man, it first embitters his heart in its purpose; it
causes him to exert his bones and sinews; it lets his body suffer hunger; it inflicts upon him want and poverty, and confounds his undertakings. In this way it stimulates his heart, steels his nature, and supplies that of which the man would be incapable.

True Happiness

To maintain an unchangeable sweetness of disposition, to think only thoughts that are pure and gentle, and to be happy under all circumstances,- such blessed conditions and such beauty of character and life should be the aim of all, and particularly so of those who wish to lessen the misery of the world. If anyone has failed to lift themselves above ungentleness, impurity, and unhappiness, they are greatly deluded if they imagine they can make the world happier by the propagation of any theory or theology. Someone who is daily living in harshness, impurity, or unhappiness is day by day adding to the sum of the world’s misery; whereas someone who continually lives in goodwill, and does not depart from happiness, is day by day increasing the sum of the world’s happiness, and this independently of any religious beliefs which these may or may not hold.

That Other World...It's where we wanna be...

Yusuf Islam in that soothing voice of his driving home an important point...the Hereafter...

I have dreamt of a place and time,where nobody gets annoyed,
But I must admit I'm not there yet but Something's keeping me going

Maybe there's a world that I'm still to find
Maybe there's a world that I'm still to find
Open up o world and let me in,
Then there'll be a new life to begin

I have dreamt of an open world,
Borderless and wide
Where the people move from place to place
And nobody's taking sides

Maybe there's a world that I'm still to find
Maybe there's a world that I'm still to find
Open up a world and let me in,
Then there'll be A new life to begin

I've been waiting for that moment
To arrive
All at once the palace of peace
Will fill My eyes - how nice!

Maybe there's a world that I'm still to find
Maybe there's a world that I'm still to find
Open up o world and let me in,
Then there'll be A new life to begin

I've been waiting for that moment
To arrive
All at once the wrongs of the world,
Will be put right - how nice!

Arrogant Man

All too often arrogance accompanies strength (organizational strength), and we must never assume that justice is on the side of the strong. The use of raw unbridled power must always be accompanied by moral choice.
When one expresses love, strangely their love is not extraordinarily arrogant or irrational. But the moment they express their displeasure (even once) they are irrational and arrogant, as if their worldview counts for nothing.
It's as when God expressed his displeasure at the Prophet (p) for ignoring the one who was blind...was God arrogant? Was God's displeasure so TOTAL that the Prophet's magnanimous character traits then counted for nothing over one incident?
And the Prophet (p) gracious as he was did express displeasure on several occasions that demanded it. All in the "reaction" that determines what we're made of...I wonder when the Prophet (p) was angry, WHAT WAS HE MADE OF?
It's good to know that were God to leave the non-arrogant ones on the earth there will be NONE. So I have some work, much work, to do...to head to that elusive goal of PERFECTION...knowing fully well it's God's mercy and that alone that brings such.
So an arrogant and irrational man sits like Buddha in his office cell, an innocent man in a living hell, his thoughts clanging like a church bell, from the extraordinary heights he FELL...

What's "Rational"???

So it was Friday the 12th. And a meeting about to take place in the evening. With a guy from the Ministry. My screen was "tuned" to coreldraw and a work-in-progress brochure. So obviously this guy noticed my "godly" stuff and started a conversation about God/logic/being rational. haha. So I listened and Richard Dawkins came to mind. And he ranted that if all things are created then WHO created God. Now this guy (nice guy that he is) goes around spreading his "belief" by scoffing at people who believe in God. And no one dare scoff at his "belief." And he mentions that he teaches kids and "poisons" (my word) them with his so-called brilliant analysis. And I listened. Well my tongue was hurting and I couldnt talk except with difficulty, and it was with difficulty, I spoke. But I gave up after a few sentences as these type of materialist guys need someone on "fire." And I couldn't deliver. But my thoughts...it's nice to reach such persons who challenge your deepest beliefs...I looked at him and wondered if he was in love with his voice...And just as how he was dogmatic (something he wouldnt admit to, remember he is "logical/rational/intellectual and believers in God are not)so are others... And as I tried to let him understand how we're programming the web application and what was needed he kept saying "I don't understand how the "computer" program will work..." ...did it dawn on him that ONE "simple" web application has him on his knees (in a good position to pray)...but ALL the complexities that make life possible he stands and argues ...which brought to mind this verse of the Quran "Does not man see that it is We Who created him from sperm? Yet behold! he stands forth as an open adversary!" (36:77) This guy was a perfect example of this ayah. Well we will, if God wills according to me, and if his material world keeps on spinning as it has ALWAYS done on its OWN, according to him, meet again...when my tongue is healed...and have a go...its always great to tussle intellectually with such minds...

Birthdays are always nice

Happy Birthday Zahir. And you're EIGHT today.Wow, big boy!!! Memories are always beautiful...and I do remember the moment I held you in my hands. God I was blown away by sheer joy. You werent crying...your bright eyes (what lots and lots of people fell in love with) were staring at me...and I choked up as I read the azan in your ears. My God...eight years...of pure happiness. I have enjoyed your always bubbling and excitable self. So full of energy...even when sick. May Allah continue to bless you with strength and an intelligence that will make the world a better place. I LOVE you so much my son.

97 years ago...and still rings true

With all the technology, instant communications certain values will NEVER change. The letter I am about to share contains some vital clues about marriage. Partners cannot expect to be twittering, networking, IMing, texting, etc.. with an opposite sex member without their spouse's knowledge. Many cases of abuse has come about because of "checking" out the history on a cell, social networking site etc. I have been asked many times to "Decode" mail by suspicious partners. So what should a marital relationship be based on in this easy to connect age.

I am a lover of Gibran's work for his use of language...but ...ok read the letter by May Ziadeh regarding his story of Broken Wings (still my favourite essay)...

May 12, 1912 Cairo, Egypt ...I do not agree with you on the subject of marriage, Gibran. I respect your thoughts, and I revere your ideas, for I know that you are honest and sincere in the defense of your principles that aim at a noble purpose. I am in full accord with you on the fundamental principles that advocates the freedom of woman. The woman should be free,like the man, to choose her own spouse guided not by the advice and aid of neighbours and acquaintances, but by her own personal inclinations. After choosing her life partner, a woman must bind herself completely to the duties of that partnership upon which she has embarked. You refer to these as heavy chains fabricated by the ages. Yes, I agree with you and I say that these are heavy chains; but remember that these chains were made by nature who made the woman what she is today. Though man's mind has reached the point of breaking the chains of customs and traditions, it has not yet reached the point of breaking the natural chains because the law of nature is above all laws. Why can't a married woman meet secretly with the man she loves? Because by thus doing she will be betraying her husband and disgracing the name she has willingly accepted, and will be lowering herself in the eyes of the society of which she is a member.
At the time of marriage the woman promises to be faithful, and spiritual faithfulness is as important as physical faithfulness. At the time of matrimony she also declares and guarantees the happiness and well-being of her husband; and when she meets secretly with another man, she is already guilty of betraying society, family, and duty. You may counter with, "Duty is a vague word that is hard to define in many circumstances." In a case like this we need to know "what is a family" in order to be able to ascertain the duties of its members. The roll which the woman plays in the family is the most difficult, the most humble and the most bitter.
I myself feel the pangs of the strings that tie the woman down--those fine silky strings are like those of a spider's web, but they are as strong as golden wires. Suppose we let Selma Karamy, the heroine of your novel, and every woman that resembles her in affections and intelligence, meet secretly with an honest man of noble character; would not this condone any woman's selecting for herself a friend, other than her husband, to meet with secretly? This would NOT work, even if the purpose of their secret meeting was to pray together before the shine of the Crucified. Signed May...

Point: If you're married and did so in total agreement then your life must be an open book to your spouse. No secrets... when the spouse has gone to work you're online exchanging "romantic dillydallyings" with another. This is spiritual unfaithfulness... or watching porn (spiritual unfaithfulness)... or making secret cell calls (spiritual unfaithfulness)...

Love your spouse and share friends and family and business acquaintances TOGETHER... meeting secretly physically or digitally is a huge NO-NO...otherwise this flood of digital snooping will turn into a tsunami...where a huge percentage of marriages are jeopardized based on foolish private digital acquaintances.

This was shared because of the amount of stories where married couples have fallen into a digital trap... marriage is not about being trapped ...its all about sharing your life and if you have nothing to hide then you are guaranteed happiness... without guilt destroying your inner world...

My God!!!

Look...I'm tired of people. Yesterday, yes Friday, a Jumuah day. Lord, what a rollercoaster day. Really I am tired...will continue this tomorrow.

Life's Battles

Bad days are one thing – everyone has them now and then. But what about the darker clouds that settle over a life for weeks or even months at a time? Surah Fatiha & calling nicely on any of the names of Allah are surefire short meditations to battle weariness and despair.
What's happening to you, to me...is beyond my comprehension. But daddy wants to tell you little things about himself. This world is full of harsh people Za, and daddy met a few harsh women...WHY? is a question I don't have an answer to...but I pray that you will meet good people and have a pleasant and righteous wife. I prayed for that too...so didnt Ishmael pray too for a wife of goodness...and she wasnt. And he remarried and got one that brought tranquillity to his heart and to their home.
I really love Broken Wings by Khalil Gibran...please read it when you grow up. I read it many times...it has a multifaceted beauty about it...the language Gibran uses just excites the senses.
And if you visit my grave and after reciting Allah's words and names...be sure to read a piece of Broken Wings for me. I will hear...and I will smile...for the "dead" hears with more clarity than the living.
May God protect and keep you safe...I love you baby...I luv u my son...Za, Za, Za...my baby

Like a Bird

My sweet little boy...what joy daddy had Saturday and Sunday evening with you on the seawall. Watching you pulling and tugging and even "rowing" your kite was balm for daddy's soul. I was happy that you made your kite with your friend...that's the joy, to do things from scratch. Rather than just buy a ready-made kite. Your excitement (and learning) made me extremely happy. It's a pity that some "Muslims" think an innocent sport like kite-flying is "haraam." PITY. I saw God smiling at your joy. Saturday evening was just so beautiful. The dense clouds covered the sun so it made for easy viewing of the kite "lashing" (as you put it) in the sky. Daddy loves the word "dancing." God it was beautiful, and the waves were caressing the seawall. And the wind was blowing (not to a fury, haha) but strong enough to take the kites easily skywards. What then about Sunday evening...could it have been better. Well...it was cloudless and the sun was that shining disc...but gorgeous it was again for kite-flying. And when it was about to set it was so picturesque. STUNNING. My little 7-year old energetic son...daddy won't have missed that for anything.

Lawlessness

These two editorials speaks volumes about our condition. Something or many things have to be blamed. If you know what it is (they are) then contribute to the elimination of such lawlessness. Yes, it can be done.
Editorial GC April 2nd 2009: The widespread lawlessness in our society is increasing at an alarming rate and if it is not swiftly arrested our future as a nation could be threatened. Qualities such as honesty, truth, morality, decency, politeness, courtesy, respect, and quiet speech which are the building blocks of a good character are being eroded and replaced by boisterous behaviour, intolerance, vulgarity, disrespect, immorality, use of violence reckless driving littering, use of indecent language and expletives and the playing of loud music among many others.

Editorial SN March 28th 2009: Our behaviour, individually and collectively, is inextricably linked to our environment and our environment leaves a great deal to be desired. Georgetown is rubbish-strewn, rodent-infested and prone to flooding. Squatters and pavement vendors proliferate. The prevailing anarchy is most apparent in our car culture: drivers ignore road signs (where these still exist), minibuses stop at random to deposit and collect passengers, pedestrians walk anywhere at any time and other minor traffic violations occur routinely. Most of us barely register each little infringement any more. Collectively, they render our roads, our public spaces and even some of our public events, a national disgrace. Money, the principal ingredient in most remedies, is in short supply. We are poor. We are not, however, helpless. If we have the will as a society, the energy and the patience, we can reclaim the lost ground. Put bluntly, it needs to become socially unacceptable again to infringe the law − whether it be peeing in public, dodging a few taxes, bribing an official or sticking a knife into someone whom you happen to disagree with. We need to learn to respect each other again, in the way we speak to each other, drive on the roads, handle our disagreements. We need to do this, step by step, inch by inch − or suffer the consequences.

Golden Advice For YOU

With your beauty, you are better than the sun;
with your morals, you are more sublime than musk;
with your modesty you are nobler than the full moon;
with your compassion you are more beneficial than rain…

Preserve your beauty with faith, your tranquility with contentment, your chastity with hijab. Remember that your adornment is not gold, silver, or diamonds; rather, it is two rak’ahs at Fajr, going thirsty when you fast for Allah, concealed charity which no one knows except Him, hot tears that wash away sin, a lengthy prostration caused by utter submission to Allah, shyness before Allah when the inclination to do evil overwhelms you. Dress yourself with the garments of God-consciousness for you are the most beautiful woman in the world. Beware of the life of bewitching immoral disbelieving women, for they are the fuel of the fire of Hell. Whenever you go and find darkness in your life; what you have to do is to light the lamp within yourself.

Oneness

Why is God's oneness and uniqueness so many times repeated in the Quran? Why is its cognition been made the cardinal, supreme postulate in His final message to us? By declaring and repeatedly stressing His Own oneness and uniqueness, God offers a threefold benefit upon us: He endows us with spiritual dignity and freedom and gives us the conviction that all creation, and therefore human life as well, is not an outcome of a play of blind forces. It has a definite meaning and a definite purpose -- a cognition which enables us to be at peace with our own destiny and thus, with God. Furthermore, we are made to realise that there is no inherent contradiction between the physical and the spiritual aspects of our own lives--and so we are enabled to achieve peace within ourselves. And thirdly, we are made truly aware that it is virtue alone and not birth or social function which makes one person superior to another, and that our endeavour to achieve social justice must be a reflection, however pale and inadequate, of the absolute, transcendental justice inherent in the concept of God's uniqueness of wisdom. And, finally, even as in our individual lives we are called upon to keep a just balance between extremes, rejecting both licentiousness and exaggerated self-denial. We are reminded that, in order to be Islamic, our social life, too, must be subordinated to the principle of moderation and equity, a just balance between what is due and necessary to oneself and what is due to others. Thus the individual is shown a way to attaining to abiding peace. This threefold message of truth and peace--our peace with God, peace with ourselves and peace with our social environment--is summarised, as it were, in these words of the Quran: "Thus have We willed you to be a community of the middle way, so that you might bear witness to the truth before mankind, and that the Messenger might bear witness to it before you." 2:143.

Shadows

So off we went hand in hand, my son and I for a walk to the seawall. And he is a little chatterbox. In the evening our shadows stretched very long. And then out of the blue he said this poem about shadows. And I looked at him in amazement for it was a pretty long poem and extremely lovely. And then I started to laugh, a hearty laugh. A child can bring so much joy to a dad whose heart feels heavy as lead. As we walked along the wall and the sun dipped in the West behind some clouds it left a glittering silvery edge to the clouds. Za pointed excitedly to them and said "Daddy Look how nice that is" and he also made mention of the shapes in the sky. Nature is gorgeous and to see a child, my child, excited by it made me feel a sense of wonder. Yes it was a beautiful evening on the beach as the tide was in and Za tried to "catch" little fishes as they were left on the beach by the incoming waves. Haha how he made my soul sing with joy.

Four Wives

There is a parable about a man who had four wives. He loved the fourth the best and would dress her in the finest clothes and shower her with gifts. He loved the third a great deal and would boast of her to his friends. He loved the second somewhat, but never gave her the time and attention she deserved. The first he had lost affection for and never paid her any attention. One day the man learned that he was dying. He turned to his fourth wife and asked if she would accompany him into death. “No way,” she replied. “When you’re dead, I’m out of here.” The man was crushed by this response. He asked the third wife if she would accompany him into death and she said she would not, that when he was gone she would find another man to marry. Disappointed, he turned to his second wife and asked if she would accompany him into death. She said, “I love you a lot, but what you ask is impossible. When you are dead, all I can do is to bury and praise you.” Finally, he turned to his first wife and asked if she would follow him into death and she replied, “Nothing could separate me from you,” and he became ashamed of the way he had neglected her.His fourth wife was his body, and when he died it would turn to dust. His third wife was his possessions, and when he died they would belong to someone else. His second wife was his friends and family, and when he died all they could do is to bury him and mourn his loss. His first wife is his soul, mind and spirit, the very essence of his self. In Islamic law a man may only have more than one wife if he treats them equally, and that is the key to understanding this parable. While we are on this earth we should take care of everything: our bodies, our property, our friends and family, and our mind and spirit. This is summed up in the Muslim proverb attributed to the Prophet’s cousin Ali Ibn Abu Talib: “Work for this life as though you are going to live forever; work for the next life as though you will die tomorrow.”

The Source of Stress

A group of graduates, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups -- porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite -- telling them to help themselves to the coffee. When all the students had a cup of coffee, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken, leaving behind the simple and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds NO quality to the coffee. In most cases, it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups. Then you began eyeing each other's cups. Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life. The type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee. "

To Become a Child

Yesterday my son and I went to the seawall. And how he made me smile, not the superficial smile of business, but the deep soul-satisfying one, as he played on the rocks and ran on the wall. I love to engage his childish things like make-believe, curiosity, imagination and play. Nothing planned, nothing really special, just spontaneous play -- without rules and reasons, just for the fun of it. The thought came to me that happiness isn't something you have to strive and struggle for. It's simply an awareness of the beauty of a child at play. I said to myself: Remember this moment...put it away carefully (the moment was special, moments like these are what lovely memories are made of.). Someday I would need such memories to draw strength and comfort from. Real life...real living...and then I read this poem...

Lord,
kids are so neat
sometimes they're bundles of energy
gift-wrapped in hand-me-downs.

Other times they're
pajamaed packages of sleepy sweetness
Always they're a miracle.

I love the way they chase butterflies
and the attention they give to mud puddles
and raindrops on a window

I envy their freedom
from clocks, calendars and cell-phones
their immunity to pressure.

O, they have their moments
skinned knees and nap time
but they recover quickly
They don't nurse their disappointments
or make a career out of contrition.

Lord
kids are so neat
Let me be converted
and become as a little child.

Let me know again
the sheer joy of being alive
and the pure pleasure
of living one day at a time
fully savouring each solitary moment.

Free me from past disappointments
and the hurts
I have so carefully kept.

Restore unto me
a childlike anticipation for life.
A sense of wonder
which makes each day new
and my life truly abundant.

The Guns of Israel & Planning

Tonight's Islamic Documentaries features The Guns of Israel. So why show this? Well viewers especially Muslims should understand what commitment and focus is all about. You can't progress or win if you're sloppy and the other party plans and execute with precision. And that's what Muslims as a whole have been: SLOPPY. Man plans and Allah plans and Allah is the best of planners. There is something there in that Quranic verse, isn't there? Do I need to outline that we are horrible planners? It's a pity that we complain too much and do too little.

What Are The Benefits Of Planning?

Talented individuals always make plans before starting anything new including a new website or internet business or before doing something as simple as a blog entry. These people make sure they know every single step in detail before actually undertaking the project, even though this might cost them a bit more of their time. Write it down: The more you write out the more you think things through and the more you probably think of! Warning, oh yes there's a warning: You could waste a lot of time due to trying to plan too far ahead or in too much detail up front. But plan you must.

For those Muslims & skeptics who never plan, here’s a few reasons why you should:

• The human memory isn’t bulletproof. We often forget things half-way through a task and try and rack our brains to search for the thing we were thinking about. By writing or typing a plan, you make sure that you don’t leave out an important part of the procedure, which could end up costing you more time in the long run.
• Allow ideas to brew. This point is especially useful in content creation. By jotting down a plan of your next blog post or artwork you can let your ideas brew, and don’t have the pressure of trying to write a post/design on the spur of the moment, something that guarantees a lack of quality.
• Be more productive. Whilst planning takes up some of the precious “action time”, in the long run, it can actually help you to organize your activities and to make sure you perform the most useful activities whilst you’re in the groove.

Mediocrity

If you had only six months left to live, would you do what you are doing now?

You can only answer “yes” to this question if what you are doing matters to you. Doing what matters to you is a sure way to excellence since you will do it with all your heart. But you need the courage to be different and follow your heart. Do you have it? I hope your answer is yes. Life is too precious to be lived in mediocrity.

The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone, is likely to find himself in places, no one has ever been before… Avoid people who make you fear the journey you're about to embark upon...The fear of being perceived as different, the fear of being ridiculed, the fear of failing, the fear of not maintaining the status quo, ad nauseum ad infinitum.

Do what you love. Feel the satisfaction.

1. Confronting Mediocrity Takes Thinking Clearly;
2. Overcoming Mediocrity Means Living Differently;
3. Combating Mediocrity Requires Fighting Fiercely;
4. Resisting Mediocrity Includes Standing Courageously

No Struggle...

Just bought online Curing Extremism from Zaytuna. Its 3 speeches including one by Hamza Yusuf. Cost $15. I'm happy that lots of Islamic multimedia are now downloadable as this is a digital world. From this point it can then be disseminated on local TV so that more minds are affected...hopefully for the better. So kudos to Zaytuna for making this available at a cost. Yes, at a cost! Muslims should not want EVERYTHING free. To produce multimedia costs a lot of money.
Our job is not to make the world safe to live in, honourable though that objective is, but to make all systems divine. From education to politics. From business to family. Dialogue can only be meaningful if Muslims are fired up...pushing the envelope. Allah articulated knowledge to Adam (peace)...taught him. Illiteracy haunts the Muslims. Even simple folk should be able to reason at a decent level. Let us take the Quranic injunction "for those who reflect" to heart. Let's just not "pray." Prayer is NOT accepted if you don't understand. A thoughtful study of the Quran creates a particular worldview giving birth to a particular behaviour. If we penetrate a bit deeper we realize that the Quran is the fountainhead of life. Study the histories of nations and their rise and fall. History or, in the language of the Quran, the days of God, is the third source of human knowledge. It is one of the most essential teachings that nations are COLLECTIVELY judged, and suffer their misdeeds here and now. Let's make our part of the world Divine. Push yourself to learn...for this is a world of testing our mettle...no struggle, no gain. Be the best you can be.

Realizing the Soul's Divinity

Prayer is that which enables the soul to realize its divinity. Through prayer humans worship absolute truth, and seek an eternal reward. Prayer is the foundation-stone of religion; and religion is the means by which the soul is purified of all that pollutes it. Prayer is the worship of the First cause of all things, the Supreme Ruler of all the world, the Source of all strength. Prayer is the adoration of the One whose Being is necessary. The Most repeated prayer on planet earth is the Opening chapter of the Quran. These prayerful words can be used by anyone for they are words most pleasing to the heart and soul.

Prayer is the ultimate meditation and it is in moments of profound meditation that we sink into our deeper self and reach the inner centre of experience. Of drawing close to God.

Be a firm believer in the power of prayer -- emphasis on POWER. Do not simply believe that God hears and answers prayers, but that in some unfathomable way there is a power that comes when an individual raises his/her voice, or when communities of individuals unite their faith in prayer to seek blessings, assistance, comfort and guidance from God.
We cannot access powerful prayer by using "magic formulas." Our prayers being answered is not based on the eloquence of our prayers. We don't have to use certain words or phrases to get God to answer our prayers. Prayer is communicating with God. All you have to do is praise God or ask God for His help.

The Names

"Each of your breaths is a priceless jewel, since each of them is irreplaceable and, once gone, can never be retrieved. Do not be like the fools who are joyous because each day their wealth increases while their life shortens. Be joyous only for an increase in knowledge or in good works, for they are your two companions who will accompany you on your journey to the Hereafter."
Al Ghazali

To the degree that you remember Allah, your heart will be calm and cheerful. His remembrance carries with it the meaning of total dependence upon Him, of turning to Him for aid, of having good thoughts and of awaiting victory from Him.
Truly He is near when supplicated. He hears when He is called and He answers when asked for. Humble yourself before Him and ask of Him sincerely. Repeat His beautiful blessed names. Mention Him as being alone worthy of worship. Ask forgiveness from Him. Happiness, peace and illumination will then be yours. The remembrance of Allah is His Paradise on earth, whoever does not enter it here, will not enter the Paradise of the Hereafter. Remembrance of Allah is NOT only a safe haven from the worries of this world, but it is also the short path to achieving ultimate success.
The Quran planted the seeds of awareness of Allah's Beautiful Names by mentioning this concept in the following verses:

1. Call upon Allah or call upon Rahman. By whatever Name you call upon Him it is well. To Him belong the Most Beautiful Names. (17:110)
2. The Most Beautiful Names belong to Allah. Call on Him by them. (7:180)
3. Allah! There is no god but He! To Him belong the Most Beautiful Names. (20:8)
4. He is Allah the Creator, the Evolver, the bestower of Forms. To Him belong the Most Beautiful Names. Whatever is in the heavens and on earth does declare His Praises and Glory. (59:24)

The Prophet (peace) said: "Allah, the Most High, has ninety-nine names. he who remembers them will enter Paradise."
May Allah draw us close to Him. This proximity or closeness is not one of location but one of qualities and attributes. May our character shine on brightly.

Does God Love War?

Salaam
Tonight's program (Islamic Documentaries) on Channel 2, 7:00p.m.--8:00p.m. will be on the topic Does God Love War? by Hamza Yusuf. Synopsis: Have the teachers of our religions failed us? Or have we not been listening? From leaders of America's Christian Right seemingly forgetting that "Blessed are the Peacemakers," to Jewish rabbis watching unflinchingly as collective punishment is doled out to Arabs in Palestine, to Muslim jurists ruling that civilian victims are acceptable under a Just War, the three great Abrahamic faiths are increasingly facing accusations of ignoring the sanctity of life.
For a list of documentaries aired since May 2006, please visit zamals.com. There you will also come face to face with thought-provoking brochures and ads. Many enlightening conversations (phone, in-office) have resulted from these 3 sources of stimulation (TV, brochures and ads). May the Creator guide us to make this world a better place.

All progress has resulted from people who took unpopular positions.


YUGHNI (يُغْنِي) = HE IS ENRICHED/AVAILED

(ya', ghayn, nun, alif maqsurah)

Wa ma yughni `anhu maluhu idha taradda

92:11 Nor will his wealth profit him when he falls headlong into the Pit.

وَمَا يُغْنِي عَنْهُ مَالُهُ إِذَا تَرَدَّى

Revelation and Rationality

Any divide between revelation and rationality, religion and logic has to be irrational. If religion and rationality cannot proceed hand in hand, there has to be something deeply wrong with either of the two.
Does revelation play any vital role in human affairs? Is not rationality sufficient to guide man in all the problems which confront him? Can any issue which intrigue your mind be answered by a Divine Book 1430 years old? A serious study of the Quran will show that it correctly discusses all important events of the past, present and future from the beginning of the universe to its ultimate end. Aided by strong incontrovertible logic and scientific evidence, the Quran does not shy away from presenting itself to the merciless scrutiny of rationality.
For the English-speaking reader this translation is a must:
The Qur'an: A New Translation (Paperback)
by Thomas Cleary
This is a new and complete translation of the Qur'an-the Muslim scripture-by one of the premier translators of religious texts in the world. The meanings of this sacred text are rendered into the English language with subtle touches of poetry, allowing for the opportunity to fully understand the spirit and soul of the Qur'an. This direct and timely rendition is an essential source for the modern seeker.

Interruptions

When you are exasperated by interruptions, remember that their very frequency may indicate the valuableness of your life. Only the people who are full of help and strength are burdened by other people's needs. The interruptions which we chafe at are the credentials of our indispensability. The greatest condemnation that anybody could incur -- and it is a danger to guard against -- is to be so independent, so unhelpful, that nobody interrupts us and we are left comfortably alone.

Beliefs

I hold a number of beliefs that have been repudiated by the liveliest intellects of our time. I believe that order is better than chaos; creation better than destruction. I prefer gentleness to violence, forgiveness to vendetta and I am sure that human sympathy is more valuable to ideology. I believe in courtesy, the ritual by which we avoid hurting other people's feelings by satisfying our own egos. And I think we should remember that we are part of a great whole, which for convenience we call nature.

Very Important Call

Among the marvels of modern phone technology is the ability to track missed calls. We do not get a good nights sleep, unless we have returned the calls of those who matter. We don't let any call go unanswered as long as we know that it matters. Don't we? Even in the middle of conversations we excuse ourselves to take another intrusive call. Gone are the days of uninterrupted conversations/meetings. Even with all the warnings to turn off phones, in the middle of prayer one of those "ringtones" shatters your concentration.
But how about the calls of "hay-yaa al-as-salaah and hay-yaa al-al falah" made from the House of our Master - Allah? Those calls are made five times a day and many a times they all go unanswered. We do not respond with the urgency as we do those cell calls!!! Nor do we respect those missed calls. Do they matter? Maybe not today or tomorrow, but surely in the Hereafter. Let us look at ourselves. Can we afford to let these calls of the muezzin be missed, day after day. The call from our Cherisher, Sustainer and the Ultimate Master. Just think about it. Next time one hears this call, just ask yourself how good a nights sleep can I have by missing those calls from the House of Allah. Ringtone for chatter or Azaan that matters!!!

Success

Success is how you collect your minutes. You spend millions of minutes to reach one triumph, one moment, then you spend maybe a thousand minutes enjoying it. If you were unhappy through those millions of minutes, what good are the thousand of minutes of triumph? It doesn't equate. Life is made of small pleasures. Hugs from a child and his/her unbridled laughter. A moment of closeness with a friend. A phone call to cheer up a despairing soul. An email from the heart...not a pre-packaged e-card. Happiness is made of such tiny successes. The big ones come too infrequently. If you don't have all those zillions of tiny successes, the big ones don't mean anything.

Parting

Parting is inevitably painful. It is like an amputation. A limb is being torn off, without which I shall be unable to function. And yet, once it is done, I find there is a quality to being alone that is incredibly precious. Life rushes back into the void, richer, more vivid, fuller than before. It is as if in parting one actually did lose an arm. And then, like the starfish,one grows it anew; one is whole again, complete and round--more whole, even than before.