Four Wives

There is a parable about a man who had four wives. He loved the fourth the best and would dress her in the finest clothes and shower her with gifts. He loved the third a great deal and would boast of her to his friends. He loved the second somewhat, but never gave her the time and attention she deserved. The first he had lost affection for and never paid her any attention. One day the man learned that he was dying. He turned to his fourth wife and asked if she would accompany him into death. “No way,” she replied. “When you’re dead, I’m out of here.” The man was crushed by this response. He asked the third wife if she would accompany him into death and she said she would not, that when he was gone she would find another man to marry. Disappointed, he turned to his second wife and asked if she would accompany him into death. She said, “I love you a lot, but what you ask is impossible. When you are dead, all I can do is to bury and praise you.” Finally, he turned to his first wife and asked if she would follow him into death and she replied, “Nothing could separate me from you,” and he became ashamed of the way he had neglected her.His fourth wife was his body, and when he died it would turn to dust. His third wife was his possessions, and when he died they would belong to someone else. His second wife was his friends and family, and when he died all they could do is to bury him and mourn his loss. His first wife is his soul, mind and spirit, the very essence of his self. In Islamic law a man may only have more than one wife if he treats them equally, and that is the key to understanding this parable. While we are on this earth we should take care of everything: our bodies, our property, our friends and family, and our mind and spirit. This is summed up in the Muslim proverb attributed to the Prophet’s cousin Ali Ibn Abu Talib: “Work for this life as though you are going to live forever; work for the next life as though you will die tomorrow.”