With all the technology, instant communications certain values will NEVER change. The letter I am about to share contains some vital clues about marriage. Partners cannot expect to be twittering, networking, IMing, texting, etc.. with an opposite sex member without their spouse's knowledge. Many cases of abuse has come about because of "checking" out the history on a cell, social networking site etc. I have been asked many times to "Decode" mail by suspicious partners. So what should a marital relationship be based on in this easy to connect age.
I am a lover of Gibran's work for his use of language...but ...ok read the letter by May Ziadeh regarding his story of Broken Wings (still my favourite essay)...
May 12, 1912 Cairo, Egypt ...I do not agree with you on the subject of marriage, Gibran. I respect your thoughts, and I revere your ideas, for I know that you are honest and sincere in the defense of your principles that aim at a noble purpose. I am in full accord with you on the fundamental principles that advocates the freedom of woman. The woman should be free,like the man, to choose her own spouse guided not by the advice and aid of neighbours and acquaintances, but by her own personal inclinations. After choosing her life partner, a woman must bind herself completely to the duties of that partnership upon which she has embarked. You refer to these as heavy chains fabricated by the ages. Yes, I agree with you and I say that these are heavy chains; but remember that these chains were made by nature who made the woman what she is today. Though man's mind has reached the point of breaking the chains of customs and traditions, it has not yet reached the point of breaking the natural chains because the law of nature is above all laws. Why can't a married woman meet secretly with the man she loves? Because by thus doing she will be betraying her husband and disgracing the name she has willingly accepted, and will be lowering herself in the eyes of the society of which she is a member.
At the time of marriage the woman promises to be faithful, and spiritual faithfulness is as important as physical faithfulness. At the time of matrimony she also declares and guarantees the happiness and well-being of her husband; and when she meets secretly with another man, she is already guilty of betraying society, family, and duty. You may counter with, "Duty is a vague word that is hard to define in many circumstances." In a case like this we need to know "what is a family" in order to be able to ascertain the duties of its members. The roll which the woman plays in the family is the most difficult, the most humble and the most bitter.
I myself feel the pangs of the strings that tie the woman down--those fine silky strings are like those of a spider's web, but they are as strong as golden wires. Suppose we let Selma Karamy, the heroine of your novel, and every woman that resembles her in affections and intelligence, meet secretly with an honest man of noble character; would not this condone any woman's selecting for herself a friend, other than her husband, to meet with secretly? This would NOT work, even if the purpose of their secret meeting was to pray together before the shine of the Crucified. Signed May...
Point: If you're married and did so in total agreement then your life must be an open book to your spouse. No secrets... when the spouse has gone to work you're online exchanging "romantic dillydallyings" with another. This is spiritual unfaithfulness... or watching porn (spiritual unfaithfulness)... or making secret cell calls (spiritual unfaithfulness)...
Love your spouse and share friends and family and business acquaintances TOGETHER... meeting secretly physically or digitally is a huge NO-NO...otherwise this flood of digital snooping will turn into a tsunami...where a huge percentage of marriages are jeopardized based on foolish private digital acquaintances.
This was shared because of the amount of stories where married couples have fallen into a digital trap... marriage is not about being trapped ...its all about sharing your life and if you have nothing to hide then you are guaranteed happiness... without guilt destroying your inner world...
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