97 years ago...and still rings true

With all the technology, instant communications certain values will NEVER change. The letter I am about to share contains some vital clues about marriage. Partners cannot expect to be twittering, networking, IMing, texting, etc.. with an opposite sex member without their spouse's knowledge. Many cases of abuse has come about because of "checking" out the history on a cell, social networking site etc. I have been asked many times to "Decode" mail by suspicious partners. So what should a marital relationship be based on in this easy to connect age.

I am a lover of Gibran's work for his use of language...but ...ok read the letter by May Ziadeh regarding his story of Broken Wings (still my favourite essay)...

May 12, 1912 Cairo, Egypt ...I do not agree with you on the subject of marriage, Gibran. I respect your thoughts, and I revere your ideas, for I know that you are honest and sincere in the defense of your principles that aim at a noble purpose. I am in full accord with you on the fundamental principles that advocates the freedom of woman. The woman should be free,like the man, to choose her own spouse guided not by the advice and aid of neighbours and acquaintances, but by her own personal inclinations. After choosing her life partner, a woman must bind herself completely to the duties of that partnership upon which she has embarked. You refer to these as heavy chains fabricated by the ages. Yes, I agree with you and I say that these are heavy chains; but remember that these chains were made by nature who made the woman what she is today. Though man's mind has reached the point of breaking the chains of customs and traditions, it has not yet reached the point of breaking the natural chains because the law of nature is above all laws. Why can't a married woman meet secretly with the man she loves? Because by thus doing she will be betraying her husband and disgracing the name she has willingly accepted, and will be lowering herself in the eyes of the society of which she is a member.
At the time of marriage the woman promises to be faithful, and spiritual faithfulness is as important as physical faithfulness. At the time of matrimony she also declares and guarantees the happiness and well-being of her husband; and when she meets secretly with another man, she is already guilty of betraying society, family, and duty. You may counter with, "Duty is a vague word that is hard to define in many circumstances." In a case like this we need to know "what is a family" in order to be able to ascertain the duties of its members. The roll which the woman plays in the family is the most difficult, the most humble and the most bitter.
I myself feel the pangs of the strings that tie the woman down--those fine silky strings are like those of a spider's web, but they are as strong as golden wires. Suppose we let Selma Karamy, the heroine of your novel, and every woman that resembles her in affections and intelligence, meet secretly with an honest man of noble character; would not this condone any woman's selecting for herself a friend, other than her husband, to meet with secretly? This would NOT work, even if the purpose of their secret meeting was to pray together before the shine of the Crucified. Signed May...

Point: If you're married and did so in total agreement then your life must be an open book to your spouse. No secrets... when the spouse has gone to work you're online exchanging "romantic dillydallyings" with another. This is spiritual unfaithfulness... or watching porn (spiritual unfaithfulness)... or making secret cell calls (spiritual unfaithfulness)...

Love your spouse and share friends and family and business acquaintances TOGETHER... meeting secretly physically or digitally is a huge NO-NO...otherwise this flood of digital snooping will turn into a tsunami...where a huge percentage of marriages are jeopardized based on foolish private digital acquaintances.

This was shared because of the amount of stories where married couples have fallen into a digital trap... marriage is not about being trapped ...its all about sharing your life and if you have nothing to hide then you are guaranteed happiness... without guilt destroying your inner world...

My God!!!

Look...I'm tired of people. Yesterday, yes Friday, a Jumuah day. Lord, what a rollercoaster day. Really I am tired...will continue this tomorrow.

Life's Battles

Bad days are one thing – everyone has them now and then. But what about the darker clouds that settle over a life for weeks or even months at a time? Surah Fatiha & calling nicely on any of the names of Allah are surefire short meditations to battle weariness and despair.
What's happening to you, to me...is beyond my comprehension. But daddy wants to tell you little things about himself. This world is full of harsh people Za, and daddy met a few harsh women...WHY? is a question I don't have an answer to...but I pray that you will meet good people and have a pleasant and righteous wife. I prayed for that too...so didnt Ishmael pray too for a wife of goodness...and she wasnt. And he remarried and got one that brought tranquillity to his heart and to their home.
I really love Broken Wings by Khalil Gibran...please read it when you grow up. I read it many times...it has a multifaceted beauty about it...the language Gibran uses just excites the senses.
And if you visit my grave and after reciting Allah's words and names...be sure to read a piece of Broken Wings for me. I will hear...and I will smile...for the "dead" hears with more clarity than the living.
May God protect and keep you safe...I love you baby...I luv u my son...Za, Za, Za...my baby

Like a Bird

My sweet little boy...what joy daddy had Saturday and Sunday evening with you on the seawall. Watching you pulling and tugging and even "rowing" your kite was balm for daddy's soul. I was happy that you made your kite with your friend...that's the joy, to do things from scratch. Rather than just buy a ready-made kite. Your excitement (and learning) made me extremely happy. It's a pity that some "Muslims" think an innocent sport like kite-flying is "haraam." PITY. I saw God smiling at your joy. Saturday evening was just so beautiful. The dense clouds covered the sun so it made for easy viewing of the kite "lashing" (as you put it) in the sky. Daddy loves the word "dancing." God it was beautiful, and the waves were caressing the seawall. And the wind was blowing (not to a fury, haha) but strong enough to take the kites easily skywards. What then about Sunday evening...could it have been better. Well...it was cloudless and the sun was that shining disc...but gorgeous it was again for kite-flying. And when it was about to set it was so picturesque. STUNNING. My little 7-year old energetic son...daddy won't have missed that for anything.

Lawlessness

These two editorials speaks volumes about our condition. Something or many things have to be blamed. If you know what it is (they are) then contribute to the elimination of such lawlessness. Yes, it can be done.
Editorial GC April 2nd 2009: The widespread lawlessness in our society is increasing at an alarming rate and if it is not swiftly arrested our future as a nation could be threatened. Qualities such as honesty, truth, morality, decency, politeness, courtesy, respect, and quiet speech which are the building blocks of a good character are being eroded and replaced by boisterous behaviour, intolerance, vulgarity, disrespect, immorality, use of violence reckless driving littering, use of indecent language and expletives and the playing of loud music among many others.

Editorial SN March 28th 2009: Our behaviour, individually and collectively, is inextricably linked to our environment and our environment leaves a great deal to be desired. Georgetown is rubbish-strewn, rodent-infested and prone to flooding. Squatters and pavement vendors proliferate. The prevailing anarchy is most apparent in our car culture: drivers ignore road signs (where these still exist), minibuses stop at random to deposit and collect passengers, pedestrians walk anywhere at any time and other minor traffic violations occur routinely. Most of us barely register each little infringement any more. Collectively, they render our roads, our public spaces and even some of our public events, a national disgrace. Money, the principal ingredient in most remedies, is in short supply. We are poor. We are not, however, helpless. If we have the will as a society, the energy and the patience, we can reclaim the lost ground. Put bluntly, it needs to become socially unacceptable again to infringe the law − whether it be peeing in public, dodging a few taxes, bribing an official or sticking a knife into someone whom you happen to disagree with. We need to learn to respect each other again, in the way we speak to each other, drive on the roads, handle our disagreements. We need to do this, step by step, inch by inch − or suffer the consequences.

Golden Advice For YOU

With your beauty, you are better than the sun;
with your morals, you are more sublime than musk;
with your modesty you are nobler than the full moon;
with your compassion you are more beneficial than rain…

Preserve your beauty with faith, your tranquility with contentment, your chastity with hijab. Remember that your adornment is not gold, silver, or diamonds; rather, it is two rak’ahs at Fajr, going thirsty when you fast for Allah, concealed charity which no one knows except Him, hot tears that wash away sin, a lengthy prostration caused by utter submission to Allah, shyness before Allah when the inclination to do evil overwhelms you. Dress yourself with the garments of God-consciousness for you are the most beautiful woman in the world. Beware of the life of bewitching immoral disbelieving women, for they are the fuel of the fire of Hell. Whenever you go and find darkness in your life; what you have to do is to light the lamp within yourself.

Oneness

Why is God's oneness and uniqueness so many times repeated in the Quran? Why is its cognition been made the cardinal, supreme postulate in His final message to us? By declaring and repeatedly stressing His Own oneness and uniqueness, God offers a threefold benefit upon us: He endows us with spiritual dignity and freedom and gives us the conviction that all creation, and therefore human life as well, is not an outcome of a play of blind forces. It has a definite meaning and a definite purpose -- a cognition which enables us to be at peace with our own destiny and thus, with God. Furthermore, we are made to realise that there is no inherent contradiction between the physical and the spiritual aspects of our own lives--and so we are enabled to achieve peace within ourselves. And thirdly, we are made truly aware that it is virtue alone and not birth or social function which makes one person superior to another, and that our endeavour to achieve social justice must be a reflection, however pale and inadequate, of the absolute, transcendental justice inherent in the concept of God's uniqueness of wisdom. And, finally, even as in our individual lives we are called upon to keep a just balance between extremes, rejecting both licentiousness and exaggerated self-denial. We are reminded that, in order to be Islamic, our social life, too, must be subordinated to the principle of moderation and equity, a just balance between what is due and necessary to oneself and what is due to others. Thus the individual is shown a way to attaining to abiding peace. This threefold message of truth and peace--our peace with God, peace with ourselves and peace with our social environment--is summarised, as it were, in these words of the Quran: "Thus have We willed you to be a community of the middle way, so that you might bear witness to the truth before mankind, and that the Messenger might bear witness to it before you." 2:143.